The 5 questions women love to ask and men hate to answer

The five questions men dread that women would ask. And if it happens to you, run away from the place without any second thoughts. Want to know why? Read the answers

The five questions women like to ask:

1. What are you thinking about?

2. Do you love me?

3. Do I look fat?

4. Do you think she is prettier than me?

5. What would you do if I died?

What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (ie tells the truth). Therefore, as a public service, each questions is analysed below, along with possible responses

Question 1:
What are you thinking about?

The proper answer to this, of course, is: "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful, thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you

This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one of the following:
* Football.
* How fat you are.
* How much prettier she is than you.
* How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
* Football.

Perhaps the best response to this questions was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you

Question 2:
Do you love me?

The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear

Inappropriate responses include:
* Oh, yeah, shit loads.
* Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
* That depends on what you mean by love.
* Does it matter?
* Who, me?

Question 3:
Do I look fat?

The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!"

Among the incorrect answers are:
* Compared to what?
* I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
* A little extra weight looks good on you.
* I've seen fatter.

Could you repeat the question, I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died

Question 4:
Do you think she's prettier than me?

Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not

Incorrect responses include:
* Yes, but you have a better personality.
* Not prettier, but definitely thinner.
* Not as pretty as you when you were her age.
* Define pretty

Could you repeat the question, I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.

Question 5
What would you do if I died?

A definite no-win question. (The real answer, of course, is "Buy a corvette and a boat.") No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an hour of follow-up questions, usually along these lines

Woman: Would you get married again?
Man: Definitely not.

Woman: Why not, don't you like being married?
Man: Of course I do.

Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
Man: OK, I'd get married then.

Woman: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
Man: (makes audible groan)

Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
Man: Where else would we sleep?

Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
Man: She can't use them, she's left-handed.

Woman: Silence
Man: Shit