What Men Say and What They Mean

* I'm hungry = I'm hungry.

* I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.

* I'm tired = I'm tired.

* I've gotta pee = Get out of the way.

* I've gotta GO = Get out of the way and stay away until it clears.

* Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

* Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

* Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

* Can I get your coat? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

* Let me get your door. = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

* May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.

* Nice dress! = Nice Tits!

* You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.

* What's wrong? = I don't see why are you making such a big deal out of this.

* What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

* What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.

* I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?

* I love you. = Let's have sex now.

* I love you too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

* Good morning. = That was great sex......let's have more!

* See you later = That was great sex......let's have more!

* Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.

* Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!

* Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = For $50 they should have GIVEN you hair!

* Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.

* Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.

* Will you marry me? = I might as well get tax benefits for going through these "talks"

While shopping

* Yes, that one's nice = Why do you ask when you aren't going to listen anyway?

* That one looks great on you = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

* I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

* Uh huh = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!

* I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.

* It makes you look fat = I'm really stupid!