What she says and what she means -- 2

Your woman just got home from shopping and is modelling her new dress for you. She circles the room and looks at you expectantly, waiting for your opinion. Naturally, you are confused. Is she asking for your honest opinion or is she fishing for a compliment? Sometimes, determining what your woman is asking you can be a challenge, especially in the early stages of a relationship. This communication barrier is no one's fault. Rather, it can be attributed to the fact that men and women speak very different languages. While men are used to being more direct with one another, women tend to be more subtle, often using hints and insinuations. So don't be surprised when you and your woman have such misunderstandings — instead, pay attention and read on. Here, we have translated a few common phrases that she might utter in the early stages of your relationship. These should help bridge the gap between what she says and what she means, and get the two of you speaking the same language.

Here's a primer to decode her phrases:

She says: "I'm not angry."
What she means: I'm angry
Why she does this: If she's pursing her lips and not speaking to you, but claims she's not angry, she's probably bluffing. She could simply be bottling up her anger or she may think that her man should just know why she's upset, without her having to tell him
What you should do: Try to figure out why she's upset and talk about it. The issue is not going to go away. In fact, if you don't deal with it, she'll just have bottled-up anger toward you and it'll come back to bite you later.

She says: "I think of you as a brother."
What she means: I'm not attracted to you
Why she does this: She probably wants to preempt your hitting on her with this sneaky little line. It serves the purpose of letting you know she's not into you, and of course, it's kinder than telling you the truth.
What you should do: In this case, it's what you shouldn't do: Don't make a move on her.

She says: "I like your friends, but…"
What she means: I don't like your friends
Why she does this: She doesn't want to come off as controlling or insulting to you or your friends, so she's not going to tell you outright how much she dislikes them. She probably thinks they're a bad influence on you and wants you to hang out with them less
What you should do: It depends on what she says she doesn't like about them. If she has a valid reason to dislike them, then you might take her concerns into consideration. Otherwise, simply tell her that your friends are important to you and that you like her to make more of an effort to get along with them.

She says: "You don't communicate enough."
What she means: How do you feel about me and our relationship?
Why she does this: She wants to know how you are feeling and where the relationship is going, but doesn't want to come off as needy. She is hoping you'll volunteer your thoughts and feelings on your relationship.
What you should do: Put her mind at ease and tell her what you think about the relationship. If you don't do it now, she'll just find another way to ask you.

She says: "Why don't you try to kiss me like this?"
What she means: I don't like the way you do it.
Why she does this: She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But this is not all bad; she likes you enough to want to work at it and make it better.
What you should do: Try it her way and see how it goes.

She says: "I really like that guy's hair."
What she means: I don't like yours.
Why she does this: She figures that it's a lot nicer to hint at this than to tell you outright.
What you should do: Get a second opinion on your hair. She may be right that it needs a change. But if your second opinion tells you otherwise, feel free to stick to your guns and your hairstyle. In that case, just pretend that you didn't get her hint.

She says: "Your love handles are so cute."
What she means: Get rid of them, please.
Why she does this: Most women know what it's like to struggle with body issues, so she would never insult you by telling you that you need to head to the gym. This way, she's letting you know that you do indeed have love handles, but in a kind and gentle way. (Note: There may be a small percentage of women who are sincere when they compliment your love handles. How do you tell the difference? It's all in her tone of voice.)
What you should do: This one's up to you. I wouldn't go to the gym simply to please someone else (love handles generally are not deal breakers anyway). But feel free to go if it'll please you.

She says: "How do I look in this (insert clothing item)?"
What she means: I need more reassurance from you.
Why she does this: She is somewhat insecure and needs more reassurance than you've been giving her. She really wants to hear a "you look beautiful/hot/wonderful" from you.
What you should do: Tell her what she wants to hear, unless she is modelling a particularly ill-fitting item of clothing (you want to bend the truth here, not completely lie).

She says: "Why do you wash the dishes/clean the floor/fold clothes like that?"
What she means: You are doing it wrong
Why she does this: She doesn't want to discourage you by telling you that you're doing household chores wrong or not in the way that she likes. She wants you to keep helping out with chores, but do it her way.
What you should do: Do it her way; it'll be less of a hassle in the long run.

She says: "I want to do something together."
What she means: We need more one-on-one time together.
Why she does this: She is saying it in this roundabout way to avoid coming off as needy.
What you should do: It depends how much time you are spending together. If you don't spend much time together, you can increase it. If you already spend most of your time together, you can ignore the hint.

Remember: What you do early on in the relationship will set the tone for the rest of it, so don't feel that you have to give in to everything she demands.

Mixed messages
Don't be surprised when your woman's words have a double meaning. Unlike a man, a woman will often hint or change her tone of voice to get her message across. But if you learn to read the subtleties, like her intonation, gestures and expressions, you're less likely to be caught off guard. So after reading the above list, the next time you so brazenly ignore her hints and suggestions, we expect that it will be fully intentional on your part.